i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Are my feet made of real feet?
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Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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