I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
