I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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