Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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