Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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