So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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