I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
