once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
