I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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