Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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