I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
