And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
