my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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