no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
