It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
