she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
