pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
