I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
