That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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