I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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