He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
