I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
