I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
