she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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