I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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