the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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