Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
