I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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