me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sext me about skeletons
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize