another moral hangover. fuck.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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