Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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