I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize