if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
