Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
