She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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