I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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