I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
