Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this boner is exhausting
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
