So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
