Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize