He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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