she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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