you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
