she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
