Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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