Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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