I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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