Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
