dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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