You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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