I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I smell like Dick and happiness
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
