He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
