The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
