So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
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he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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