My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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