It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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