Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
