I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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